Crazy Olympos

Crazy Olympos

My family - the House of Olympos – is a crazy lot. I believe the term you'd use is docu-soap if you'd been a fly on the wall. I've already told about Eos and her eternal love problem. She went from arms to arms without being able to settle. And one of these men gave her a son "Zephyros. Little Zephy was blond and blue-eyed and the first suspected fathers were of course Zeus and Astraios. But Eos refused to say so we kept on guessing for a while. I knew that Demeter knew (she always does) but she's so good at keeping secrets.

Astraios "well, he had several women around town, but at the same time he and Leto were entertaining each other up home in a very buddy-like way. Leto admitted that she was bad at falling in love, that these kind of deep feelings were not her thing. I guess that was something she had passed on to her daughter, Artemis simply didn't care about men and love. And Hestia told that she had been badly burned once and was still healing her heart. Ironic "the mistress of fire. Nevertheless, Helios gave her the son Phaeton.

Helios had some on-off thing going with the Hyperpantheon delegate Tyche of Antiocheia and then he connected with dads old adventure Europa. Then back to Tyche again and then further on to another delegate, Cybele of Ilaouda. A shortie with someone called Chalaira before he was back to Tyche for the third time and so on. And Poseidon, he was the same. Neyta of Kergandar and Medusa of Aswee were just two of his ladies, and he ran after Hestia too, but she declared 'not interested'.

When Sakura was old enough she started to play around quite a bit too. Iris on the other hand had a long and enduring relation with Ra of Aigyptos, who was a more or less permanent guest up home. And when he was with Iris we never saw much of them.

Then there were Apollon and Irdonan. My brothers were the same age and they had a competition going about who could bed most girls. And Irdo was winning big time. Ollie hadn't got even a percentage of fathers skills in that area, he never seemed to make it beyond initial flirting while Irdo had new little adventures almost twice a week. The girls were in fact running after Irdo while they kept running away from Ollie instead.

Like Daphne who said she'd rather turn herself into a tree than dating Apollon, and walked right into the arms of Irdonan. When Apollon learned about that he jumped at Irdonan regardless of the fact that my mothers son is in fact both bigger and stronger than my fathers son. Ollie got beaten up rather bad before anyone got the chance to interrupt. All over just a girl who wasn't even pretty if you ask me. Still there were other girls who Apollon failed to get. Like the party-babe Marpessa and Cassandra, a mortal upper-class girl of Troy. Then there was Artemis' friend Callisto - who happened to prefer Zeus. Tuff deal, at least Ollie couldn't jump at his dad.

Clythia was another girl who turned down Apollon. She called him all kinds of things, where conceited and arrogant were among the nicest ones. The only comfort for poor Ollie was that Clythia turned down Irdo as well. Perhaps she didn't like Olympians. Then Apollon had a try at Nike, and first it looked like he was getting his way. But then something made Nike change her mind, and when I questioned my friend she said:
"He's just too much."
"Too much of what?"
"Of everything. OK, he's kinda cute and good at singing and playing his music. But he's so intense and unyielding, and lacking of humour, and after a while you just have had enough of his company. At least I did. "

Apollon had better luck with Coronis, a dark-haired innocent-looking girl working as a secretary at the Liberal party's office. She was nice enough, but a bit too clinging to my brother, and I guess Apollon tired of her ever-lasting affection in the end. She seemed to have no will of her own, it was always:
"What do you think, Ollie?" when asked about something. Fact is that Apollon dumped Coronis, but decades later they were back together again, and this time Coronis gave Apollon his one immortal son, Asklepios.

Then came Aphrodite and with her complications. She was Astraios' daughter with Dione of Cyprus, a cute girl with long, curly, blond hair, rosy cheeks and large, purplish blue eyes. She came to visit her dad at Olympos now and then. And she was hardly 15 the first time she winded Irdo around her elegantly manicured finger.

So Irdo stopped playing around and dedicated his time to Aphrie, and Apollon could gain some in their mutual competition. Then, when Aphrie was a sweet sixteen, she dumped Irdonan and started to flirt with Apollon instead. For the first time it was Irdo who showed jealousy towards Ollie instead of the other way around. This event made me give Aphrodite the surname Trouble. Little did I know how well-fitting it would become.

Of all the people at Olympos it seemed that there were only Artemis and I who didn't take part in this stupidity. Artemis was busy working at Hera's office  and couldn't be bothered with pointless sex. And I thought it was just too dull. A few moment of bliss "was it really worth all this hassle before and after?

If I really wanted it I went for mortal men instead. Undercover and far away from home. Mortal men I could have and then dump and forget. Guess I got that from dad. But being the girl myself I never had to worry about unplanned offspring. Even these events were rare. I had other things occupying my mind.

Demeter and Oreynadan's marriage was a rarity at Olympos. It seemed as steady as if it had been imprinted in stone. When it came to love they only had eyes for each other and they were secure enough to give each other a long leash. Hera on the other hand was not that trusting, and I believe Zeus's history of being a real women's man played a large part in this. But at least during my youth dad was so busy with both work and all his children that he simply didn't have time for amorous adventures.

Hera's sons Ares and Auroanos were always fighting with each other. Usually it started with Auro teasing Ares about something. Ares was not as skilled with words as his little brother, so when he had no more answers he started to beat Auro up. Then the ones standing nearest had to pull them apart. Astraea also had a way of always getting in trouble, mostly by picking fights with her older brothers or breaking things, like dads expensive radio.

I was 21 when Hera and dad had Eleithya who was so incredibly cute. For the first time I wished I had a child too. On the other hand "for a child you need a father, and there were no suitable candidates around. So I 'kidnapped' little Thya now and then and taught her to swim, make cocoa with whipped cream, pilfer nectar and other goodies, tell scary ghost stories and other necessities in life. (Well, I did teach her to read and write too. I did that with most of my younger sisters and brothers. For some reason that had become 'Athena's work'.)

If I hadn't had my friends to escape to now and then Olympos would have seemed intolerable with all its fights and dramas. But I could always visit Nike and her family and stay there for a while now and then to get distance to things. They weren't members of a pantheon, instead they preferred to live the core family way. Nike's parents Nias and Narlidda were wonderful and easygoing, and were always welcoming me with open arms.

Nike's older sister Nanya moved out soon though,  to join her beloved Eleuse of the Angariderios pantheon in Verangana. Meanwhile  Nike and I were having a great time together with Nike's brother Nardalon and his best friend Philotes. The four of us saw most of the world together, from the big city Edo in Nippon to the endless desserts in the western parts of Northern America. But while Edo was welcoming and interesting, especially when we were cruising around disguised as mortals, the wild American dessert held some scary and hostile gods who chased us away.

"Titan half-breeds," Nias warned us when we told him about America. "You'd better avoid them. They have some strange and terrible powers and they might harm you badly. There's so much more to this world than red desserts anyway."
"But there's gold there," Nardalon insisted.
"And that gold is probably what these half-breeds are guarding. Now, stay away from America, you hear me!"

Being chased out of America sort of took the edge off exploring the world, and we went on to other things. Philotes had become obsessed with the thoughts of gold, but instead of giving America another try he was going for metal transmutation.
"Changing the atom structure of lead is the way of doing it," he told.
"How to do that?" I asked him. "All I know about chemical reactions says..."
"Yes, but there's an older science, Philotes insisted. Alchemy. The old aristocrats of the House of Ayonia knew how to make gold. That's why they became so filthy rich. Unfortunately they took their secret with them into their grave when the Titans killed them. But there must be a way of repeating their success. And I'm going to find it!"

I was thrilled for a while and helped Philotes, but our tries failed. We got crappy pseudo-copper, mercury and some strange radioactive matter instead. But we might've succeeded sooner or later if Philotes suddenly hadn't found my body more interesting than the elements we were trying to manipulate. When he came from behind and tried to kiss me one night, I was startled and spilled nitrite down in our experiment. The result was an explosion which blew the lab to pieces and destroyed most of our work files. And a fight which ended our co-work.
"No, I did not do that on purpose," I was defending myself.
"Yes, you did. You blew it all - literally, just because you are afraid of intimacy with men!"

"What do you know about such a thing?"
"People talk, Athena!"
"Well, if these people are right and I am afraid of intimacy, why the chaos did you do that to me then? And ruined all our work? "

To that Philotes had no other answers than insults and we fought a bit more. Eventually we got over it but then  we had lost interest in making gold. When Philotes years and years later took up the experiments I was too busy to join. On top of that Dad had showed me that it was possible to make gold using advanced psykokinesis of a kind only he managed these days.
"It was probably this way the Ayonians did it," he said after turning some old rifle ammunition into glittering yellow. But it's difficult and tiring, demands a lot of concentration. I don't think it's worth the toil, there are easier ways to make a fortune, just ask Hestia! She has made more money for the House of Olympos with her stock market analysises than anyone ever could have done by turning old scrap into gold.

When I was 27 Poseidon was starting to give me trouble. He had some idea that he could flirt me down, and I wasn't the slightest interested, so I ended up in a kind of cat and mouse game that was so annoying and so embarrassing, because the sea-god wasn't taking no for an answer. It was always like:
"Get out of my hair, Poseidon, I am still not going to come over and sit in your lap!"
"Oh, come on, Titi! "
"I'm not Titi with you. That's dads private nick."
"Well I'd love to be private with you. And I know you..."
"Answer is no! What's your problem with understanding that? Water in the ears? "

"Between his ears," someone was suddenly saying behind me. Little brother Ares coming to my defence? Or, rather  more interested in fuzzing with Poseidon. Ares got what he wanted. Poseidon rose fast and leaped over to my brother.
"I'm going to teach you, brat, one or two things about manner! "

He took a beat at Ares, who blocked Poseidon's right hand with his left arm while giving the sea-god an uppercut with the right fist. The next moment Apollon, Astraios, Irdonan and Helios were doing their best to pull the men apart. Dad was also arriving to the scene of the fight. Artemis was shaking her head, Sakura rolling her eyes and Aphrodite had forgotten that she was teasing Irdonan and was staring at Ares with an interested look. What was it really with some women "getting excited when men fought?

Of course dad wanted to know what the hubbub was about and placed himself firmly between the two combatants. Poseidon was like:
"Teaching your brat of a son a few manners. "

And Ares:
"He was being rude to Athi."
"What about?" dad asked.
"He has got the impression that I'm interested in playing around with him," I told. "As in the man/woman thing. "
"Is that so?" dad asked.

"Zeus, I was just teasing her a bit," Poseidon was saying. "Athena is so uptight. She can only benefit from loosing up a bit."
"But not with you, your octopus!" I snapped.
"Athena..."  Poseidon started but dad cut him off:
"There are plenty of women out there who'd gladly loose up both one and two bits together with you, Poseidon. Go for one of them instead!"
"And leave Athena alone, Ares chimed in. Or I'll rearrange your face so it'll be more octopus-like too."

Auroanos, Sakura, Aphrodite, Irdonan and even Apollon started to laugh but dad scolded Ares, telling him that fist-fights was no tool for solving problems. But Poseidon wasn't listening, he challenged my brother:
"OK, puppy! Pick a place and time and I'll se how long you last against me without your brothers holding on to any of us."
"Gladly..." Ares started, but dad cut in once more:
"Forget it! Both of you! You're grown-up men. Not school-kids. If I hear anything about a fight between you, you're both in for accountant duty. And Poseidon, same thing if you don't leave Athena alone."

That was it. For a couple of weeks at least. Then Poseidon was at me again. And this time it resulted in a fist-fight. Or at least I got a good punch into Poseidon's nose. He sprouted some blood and Sakura, Eos and Irdonan, who happened to be around, got a chance to cheer and applaud. After that Poseidon sort of got the message. At least he wasn't harassing me again.